Here's a community that is breaking stereotypes on single women
Started by Sreemoyee Piu Kundu, Status Single is focused on empowering single women and building a conducive world for them.
Sreemoyee Piu Kundu was very young when she lost her father to suicide. She would be haunted by a trail of questions--“Where’s your father? What does he do? Whom do you look like, your mother or your father?”, which ended up in pregnant silence, sadness, and confusion.
The innocent longing for love, care, marriage, and motherhood shattered into loneliness for Kundu who saw the discrimination faced by her mother after losing her father. Her mother was not invited to parties, was not allowed to do aarti or perform wedding rituals as a widow. “That was painful for me to see,” recalls Kundu, a writer and journalist based in Kolkata.
Her mother was happy again when she fell in love with a man whom the society labelled as a 13 years younger person belonging to a different community.
“I think one of the brave things my mother did was to open her heart the second time because there was so much social stigma and jealousy even among her women friends,” Kundu tells HerStory.
However, Kundu’s mother’s experiences solely did not influence her to adopt singlehood. From being in an abusive relationship to being ditched by a man weeks before their engagement, Sreemoyee was 24 when she decided she had enough.
“I had a nervous breakdown. I didn’t want to live. I almost stopped breathing. I was in such a state of shock,” she recalls.
Kundu came out of this state only to realise she wanted to own her singleness. “My singlehood journey happened to be circumstantial, initially leading me to a choice that I made,” she says.
When her gynecologist advised her to get married and not be single, she decided to call the shots. It inspired her to stand by her choice and write the book--‘Status Single’ in 2018, which involved interviews with more than 3,500 urban single women in India. It also led to start a community on Facebook with the same name, focused on empowering single women and building a conducive world for them. According to 2011 census, India is home to 71.4 million single women.
Owning singleness
Bengaluru chapter meet-up
Now in her mid-forties, Kundu lives with her foster sister and parents. When she turned forty, she felt the need to create a platform to highlight one of the overlooked segments of the society and stir deeper conversations about their recognition and challenges.
Starting with a few friends, the community now has more than 4,000 members coming from varied professions such as lawyers, doctors, and entrepreneurs. The community is also open to single members of LGBTQIA+ and differently-abled single women.
They have a common resource pool consisting of HR professionals helping other women get jobs and lawyers providing legal assistance. “We want to make this community self-sustainable. We have three pillars--legal, mental health, and entrepreneurship or financial help that we want to work upon,” Kundu explains.
Every Monday, existing members send job postings on the Facebook page, and on Fridays, all member entrepreneurs talk about their new products and sales and advertise their businesses.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, the community started having online meetings to discuss important topics like mental health, legal issues surrounding child custody, and how to change one’s name back to their maiden name on official documents, for which they also got experts on board.
In October 2021, the community commenced its offline meet-ups in cities like Kolkata, Delhi, Mumbai, Bengaluru, Lucknow, and Chennai. The meet-ups are scheduled every month and are based on a theme different for all chapters.
The community has eight chapters, each led by one- or two-chapter heads, depending on its size. There are six to seven core team members who also help in regulating and arranging meet-ups.
Membership is free and only comes with the criteria that one must identify as a single woman. However, the members are not obligated to be bound by their single status. “If someone falls in love and gets married, they can exit the group and still attend certain meet-ups where allies are allowed,” Kundu elaborates.
Not a bed of roses
Kolkata chapter meet-up
Kundu chronicles being called disgusting names because of her single status. “The moment you say you’re single, the first thing that people think is that you are brainwashing women not to marry, not to be mothers, and challenge patriarchy,” Kundu says.
Not just hate comments, Kundu had to fight the old Indian belief system as well. She explains that it is sometimes hard for parents to accept and understand the concept of singlehood. The institution of marriage and having a partner is so profoundly engraved within the society that being single seems like a rebellion.
Most women have to fight against oppressive structures for the right to choose their status, and anything that falls beyond human comprehension is regarded as an outcast. However, Kundu was undeterred by these roadblocks. She and her team invited parents to the sessions to address the shame and stigma that single women face because of parental pressure in India.
“We are not a men-hating or male-bashing community. We are also not against partnerships; however, we support partnerships which are based on ideals of humanity and equality,” Kundu explains.
“I knew how isolating it can be to fight tough battles alone,” says Indu Nair, an entrepreneur and the lead of the Mumbai chapter, recalling her journey. “I attended Sree’s book tour. As a single mother coming out of a bad marriage and a long cycle of litigations for child custody, I could resonate with the book’s concept,” she says.
“I still remember I was looking for a house when my landlord told me to vacate in just a month. Being a single mother, it was not easy. But all the members came together to help me by providing broker contacts and links. This community gave me my voice. It has given me a sense of belonging. I have found this camaraderie and comfort with this unique community,” she chronicles.
The way forward
Delhi chapter meet-up
The community recently opened a legal cell in Delhi to provide assistance to the members. Kundu plans to set up a mental health cell in the coming years.
With new chapters opening in Hyderabad and Pune, the community is also focusing on setting up branches in the UK and Dubai. Kundu plans to build a more organised structure within the community while opting for a paid membership model.
She believes that it is her unconventional family and diverse roots that have led her to plant the seeds of a diverse community. “The journey of singlehood is not the same for every member, but the values on which Status Single stands are based on the basic principles of equality and dignity,” Kundu says.
“Fitting into Snow White's shoes is too passé when you got the Wonder Woman cape hanging next to you, isn’t it?” she says.
(This story has been updated to add context and correct style)
Edited by Megha Reddy
