Rising against the odds, how Vishali Kola is advocating for child safety

This is the remarkable story of a woman who defied all odds, including the trauma of physical abuse, to take control of her life and choices.

Vishali Kola’s journey of coming into her own in her 30s, making a mark as a fashion designer and establishing an NGO to raise awareness against child sexual abuse is also about determination and fortitude.

When she was in the sixth standard, Kola moved from Srikalahasti, a town in Andhra Pradesh to live with her grandparents in Bengaluru. Her parents thought that the city would give her a better shot at education and life.

However, the move turned her life upside down. Her grandmother turned out to be controlling. “I had to go to school, return, and do all the household chores. I was not allowed to go out and meet my friends or socialise. I was beaten up if I failed to complete my chores,” Kola tells HerStory.

There is no bitterness in her voice as she speaks of being resigned to her fate. Complaints to her parents mostly went unheard, and they usually countered with the argument that she had to return to a small town that would offer her few opportunities.

Kola soldiered on but things became even worse after her grandmother passed away when she was in the tenth standard.

“My grandfather became abusive. I was a teenager and it was painful to share this with my mother or those around me,” she says.

Kola joined MS Ramaiah College for PUC and spent most of her time with her friends. And to her utter shock, she failed to clear her second-year exams.

Rising above the odds

In 2000, she returned to Srikalahasti where her mum insisted she enrolled in a Diploma in Electrical and Electronics though her heart was in studying for a fashion degree.

“I was very arrogant and decided to stay at home. They put me under house arrest and did not even allow my friends to see me. I continued my education under the open schooling system and went on to complete a master’s in English Literature,” Kola says.

At 24 years old, Kola was married to a family friend into an extremely orthodox and conservative political family.  

“I was not allowed to make my own decisions. The atmosphere was very restrictive, I had to adhere to a certain dressing style or a hairstyle, and could not speak up,” she recalls.

Despite the trying circumstances, Kola says she would hold onto a ray of hope–support and understanding from her father. She told him that she would count on him for help after her first child was born and follow her dreams. Unfortunately, that was not to be as her father passed away three months after her first child was born. She became depressed, went on eating binges, became overweight and stopped caring for herself.

“I later realised I was not giving enough time to my son. I wanted to focus on him and live. When he started talking, it made a big difference. I made a conscious effort to be better for my child,” she says.

The importance of child safety

She channeled all her pain including the earlier years of abuse into writing about it. This laid the foundation for Tejobarath, an NGO in Srikalahasti that works to prevent child sexual abuse at its root and protect the psychological health of children.

“With the help of a few friends and lawyers, I compiled information in the form of a booklet. I began by talking to my son about it. In 2012, we launched the campaign, Safe India, Happy India, printed 50,000 pamphlets on child safety and reached out to all schools in Srikalahasti to spread the message to around 30,000 people,” she explains.

Over time, she also met politicians like Vasundhara Raje, Jairam Singh Thakur, Smriti Irani, and others to impress upon the need to extend this campaign to other states and also include child safety as part of the curriculum. It has launched an interactive app, Body Safety, for children which teaches them the importance of “good and bad touch.”

Tejobarath has also tied with social startup Menstrupedia and distributed comics on menstrual hygiene and organised the ‘Safe Periods, Happy Periods’ in several parts of South India and Assam. It also distributed free sanitary napkins to over 6,000 girls and women.

Kola is also a designer-entrepreneur, designing and curating pieces with kalamkari artisans. 

“When I was newly married, I felt very lonely and lost. I wanted to spend my time wisely. Srikalahasti is well-known for kalamkari designs. I started visiting artisans, designing blouses, and then sarees. Soon, I started getting orders for stores in Chennai and Hyderabad,” she says.

The brand also got an order from Co-optex, the Tamil Nadu Handloom Weavers’ Cooperative Society. 

Over the years, her husband has also helped her connect, coordinate and conduct workshops for Tejobarath and also help out with VKola. From being uncooperative to being a pillar of support, Kola is happy with the change in her husband.

“We are associated with around 24 women artisans from villages and want to reach a wider audience. I also want to spread the message of child safety to more people,” she concludes.